News Taffy

Hey guys! Welcome back to what might be the most entertaining thing you’ll read all week…haha! But really though, I appreciate all of you who read my blog and then tell me that you went and saw a movie because I wrote something about it, so thanks. This weekend my friend Allison and I ventured to the Malco to take in the newest member of the scary movie club, The Cabin in the Woods. Let me just say that this movie is a doozy. Now that’s not normally a word I would use to describe a movie, but in this case I have no other words.

It starts out as cliché as scary movies can get with five friends, Dana the “virgin” who is not really a virgin but is close enough, Curt the jock (Chris Hemsworth), Jules the promiscuous blonde, Holden the one black guy and Marty the funny/wise stoner) heading to a cabin for a weekend full of fun and unbeknownst to them death. At the same time we see these two guys in some type of facility where they appear to be working on some covert operation. We immediately find out that they have cameras placed throughout the cabin and are controlling what happens to these young people complete with pheromones that induce certain behaviors. It’s kind of Hunger Games-ish, except people aren’t trying to kill each other.

The movie follows traditional plot lines with them heading out not knowing where they’re going and making a stop at a seemingly abandoned gas station where they encounter a very unpleasant man who really like his tobacco. Upon arriving to the cabin, they are greeted by an assortment of creepiness including mounted animal heads, a weird picture of an apparent sacrifice and a mirror that allows you to see into someone else’s room without their knowledge.

After a game of truth or dare (which never ends well) they end up in one of those creepy basements where all the demon-looking toys and weird portraits are stored and Dana finds a diary apparently written by a little girl with one arm who describes murders. Dana reads a line from the diary in Latin and then of course zombies come out of the ground, but they don’t know that yet. Jules and Curt then decide to go into the woods and do the one thing you don’t do in a scary movie, which is have sex (sex=certain death). Jules is immediately beheaded by the zombies and Curt manages to get away.

Back at the facility, the game operators are taking bets on the actions of the five friends, and are having a real good time. In the cabin, Marty, who has been high the entire time, feels like they are being controlled by “puppeteers” and discovers a small camera in one of the rooms. A zombie then attacks him through a window, they fight and then he is killed. Dana, Curt and Holden take off in their RV trying to get away, but when they go through a tunnel and almost make it, the game operators blow it up leaving them no other option but to turn back and find another way, but not everyone will make it to the end.

What happens next really has to be seen with your own eyes. There’s a merman with a blowhole, ghosts, bat creatures and a lot of blood. I laughed, I was confused, surprised and probably every other feeling you can have about a movie. This is definitely not your ordinary scary hanging out in the middle of nowhere movie, and to tell you anything else would give too much away.

I will say this:  The Cabin in the Woods has elements of traditional scary movies that I love and hate. There was killing, there was creepiness and monsters, which usually makes a great movie, but I just don’t know how I feel about it. At one point I decided that I absolutely hated it, then I really liked it and now I just don’t know. For the first time I don’t really know what score I want to give a movie, so I’ve decided to give it a big fat nothing. That’s right folks NOTHING! I don’t hate it; I don’t love it, but I would probably see it again or maybe not. I’m stumped. What’s a girl to do? My advice for you would be to go see it for yourself and then tell me what you think because I don’t have the perfect number this week. I guess I don’t always have the answers.

This weekend I’ll be seeing The Lucky One…YAY! I read the book, and trust me, I will have an opinion. Zac Efron better not disappoint or I will be very unhappy. Hope you all have a great week.

Until next time,
Raven